Mental Prison VS Mental Freedom

Practicing what I learned at SATORI L-1 of Achieve Mastery with Jack Duchene

Today I learned an important lesson about not taking what someone says to me personally. It is not about me, but about them. In retrospect I had an opportunity to not take it personally when it was happening but as we all know hindsight is 20/20. I admit today has been a day of moving in and out of mental prison and mental freedom (achievemastery.net).

This morning I was verbally attacked by an employee of a local Shell Station. Before buying gas I went to my bank and withdrew $60.00 from the ATM for the sole purpose of purchasing gas. I go in to pay for Gas before pumping. I was close to empty so it could have gone either way over or under $40.00. I hand the cashier the $60.00 and tell him “I want a fill up and it probably won’t be over 40.00 but in case…” I pump my gas and top it to make it an even $38.00. When I return back inside, the cashier hands me $2.00 back. I politely tell him he owes me $20.00 as I had given him $60.00. And this is where the ‘conversation’ stopped. He adamantly told me I have him $40.00 and he had put two 20s in the register. He accused me of trying to scam him but it was on tape, he ran the tape (not seen by me) and again said he put two 20s in the register. Somewhere I asked him to take my name and number and if the register came up 20.00 over to please call me. He didn’t want to take my information because for him there was no reason, I was lying about giving him 3 20s. It didn’t matter what I said, he didn’t see or hear me, he saw and heard a person who was trying to scam him out of $20.00. He reluctantly agreed to take my name and number (persistence does work I guess). He wasn’t done though, He asked if the number I wrote down was mine and is it working?” I showed it to him and then he called it while I was standing there.

After crying in the car and boo hooing to a friend I took her advise and called Shell and made a complaint. I felt better but not quite back to square one. In my mind I was never going back to that Shell Station, a place I specifically chose this morning because in the past they were always so courteous and customer friendly. Did I want to be that person? No. I moved to empathy. I walked in to the Shell Station with my perspective ‘ The world is trusting, of course I can hand over more than enough for my gas and my change will be returned to me. I want to give them my business. His view at that moment was apparently the world is not trusting and everyone who walks in here is trying to take (he did indicate people like me were keeping him from making a living). I didn’t want to not have peace in my heart so I started praying for peace of mind and heart for him.

She who prayed was my higher self. The not so higher me was still put out. The interaction left me feeling psychically attacked. I felt so vulnerable, so hurt, so less than. I started questioning myself, was I dressed wrong? Did I not use the right words, what did I do wrong in that interaction, what was my part in its deterioration? I kept trying to personalize it. Later in the day I got a roll of quarters and handed the cashier a 20 dollar bill and told him “I would like a roll of quarters and a 10 back.” He laughed and said “See how you are?” Do I want to be that person? No. I want to continue to be me, the chick who trusts the person on the other end of the transaction and visa versa.

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